10 things: 02.12.

need to work on timeliness of posting these :o)

february, 2012

1. i LOVE celebrating friends.  can’t wait to meet babes youngblood!
2. i’m not a huge fan of toronto.  yet.  i’ll keep trying.
3. this month was a toughie.
4. i got to sign up for my very-very-very-favorite-ever CSA. again!  I’M SO EXCITED!
5. uber excited for this, this, & this.  from a few of my favorites: her, her, & her.
6. still camped out with caroline’s message on rest.
7. i had the BEST valentine.
8. being with old friends is good for the soul.  even when you’re sleep deprived & chasing 6 kids under 5 yrs old.
9. loved this from jon scuff: “every day i find a new way to need more grace than the day before. every day God reminds me i won’t exhaust His supply.”  thankful.
10. “it looked like death had won, but love will last forever” [wish the video was still live]

be still.

i so, so needed this today…

:: be still ::
video: seth ekberg.  music: “be still” by the fray.  creative: lindsday sherbondy.

10 things: 01.12.

i have watched sarah kay‘s TED talk, “if i should have a daughter,” no less than 25 times.  every time i watch it something new stands out, but one part that stood out right away & stuck in my thoughts was when she asked the audience to think of three things they know to be true.

after i thought of my three things, i wondered how my three things might change over time.  later in her talk, sarah, a spoken word poetry teacher, explains that she has her students write ten things they know to be true when they are brainstorming what to write about.  building on that idea, i thought it would be fun (not to mention interesting) to make a list of ten things i know to be true each month for a year to see how they change over time.  it has been a really good exercise so far.

first, it was pretty cool when i found myself wondering if “this” [thought, realization, experience, feeling] would end up among the month’s top ten.  it’s maybe even more cool that i continue to find myself in this place of reflection & wonder.

second, it’s a really great reminder of life’s sweet spots & challenges.  it’s been good to document happenings, gratitude, & prayers.

last, but not least, it’s helping me stay true to myself.  to who God has made me to be.  to how He is continuing to mold me.  to who He has woven into my life that bring life.  to the passions He has given me that help me connect to Him and His kingdom.

i’m really excited to see how this exercise evolves over the year, and it will be super fun to look back on the lists in december!

january, 2012

1. my tribe is incredible.  i love that i get to see some regularly, i cherish reunions with those far away, and i genuinely miss those i don’t see often enough.
2. life is precious.
3. i have never, never been so grateful for a new year.  embracing 2012…the year of grace.
4. having sweet conversations with my brother about jesus & then being there when he found an authentic community has been one of the greatest blessings in my life.
5. i’m independent, strong, confident, & completely capable…but i still miss my husband every day.  this & this help.
6. i love pinterest.  LOVE.
7. sarah kay‘s spoken word poems completely resonate with & spark something in me:  if i should have a daughter & how many lives can you live?
8. i’m working on finding balance in 2012.  step one is figuring out what that even means.
9. i’m grateful every day for my health.  every. single. day.
10. i feel most alive when i am creating, connecting with people i love, & exploring a new place.

csa box 1: let the fun begin.

i have been waiting to join a csa (community supported agriculture) for what feels like forever…even though i’m pretty confident it’s only been a few years. i think i first heard about csa’s a few years ago and completely fell for the concept. at it’s simplest: farmer’s sell shares of their harvest. harvest-loving people like me buy a share or half share in exchange for a weekly or bi-weekly bulging box of produce, herbs & the like.  brilliant, right?! upon catering to the total nerdy researcher in me, i read up on different local farms, share options, prices, etc, and i found the *perfect* option for me: loon organics. oh – i was smitten! now i really wanted to join. unfortunately, with all the hulabaloo of last summer/fall, i had to table the idea. but…well…the saying is true: absence makes the heart grow fonder. when this year’s csa sign-up started, i was on it lickety-split!

laura has been awesome to work with from my initial email to communication & newsletters. there was a little hiccup yesterday with picking up my box at the drop off location (loon organics is in hutchinson, and you can pick up at the farm, but they also deliver around the ‘burbs & minneapolis to make it convenient), but she was so generous & accommodating in getting back to me about it. one of the farm employees actually delivered the box right to my house last night! seriously – that’s just how you’d hope things could work out.

i had gotten the newsletter detailing what would be in the box this week…but it somehow didn’t prepare me for what i saw when i opened the box. it was like CHRISTMAS!!

csa box 1 loot: red “cherriette” radishes, japanese white salad turnips, dinosaur kale, purple kohlrabi, strawberries, dried black beans, cilantro, broccoli, green curly leaf lettuce, baby spinach, garlic scapes & baby bok choi. eeek!

not [perfect] yet.

i need to put this reminder in places that i will see it all day long.  i need it to interrupt my thoughts & curb my fears.  i need it to give me that little push…that little extra bit of courage.

quite honestly, i may be the queen of waiting until i have something polished, error-free, all figured out – “perfect,” if you will – before i’ll let myself believe that i can share it, ask for it, admit it, deserve it.  wow – i said it.  yikes.

what a shame, and what a waste to not share my thoughts, ideas, passion, fears, needs “in the moment” for fear of not being received, understood, loved, desired, encouraged, worthy.  from the littlest to the biggest scenarios, this “not yet!” floating around in the back of my head has been given too much space.  even this entry has been stalled by it.  the topic’s been in my head for weeks (dare i say months?), but i couldn’t quite get it into well-formed, eloquent words, so i waited.

but i’m over it.  i need to be over it.  i need my dreams, my thoughts, my desires, my creativity, my voice back.

i’m not perfect.  i never will be, nor do i even want to be.

i desperately want to live an honest, open life with all of it’s rough edges, grace & humility.  god has put incredible people in my life to teach me, challenge me, process with me, encourage me, and i want my life to be an example of a life lived together.  unfortunately, as i go about life holding back & feverishly trying to fix or create things on my own before i let anyone else in, i’m not honoring the lessons, wisdom, grace & gifts that these amazing people have to teach me, share with me & pray over me.  it feels like i’m literally stealing blessings; robbing us of moments that god has intended specifically for us.

so tonight i sit here, typing away…trying to put words & cohesion to a thought in my head that i think is important enough to capture.  something for me to look back on, to remind me, to encourage me.   it’s certainly not polished nor perfect…but it’s a start.

and i’m ok with that.

real hero.

i love storypeople.  they’re light, fun, silly.

then, every once in awhile, right after you stop chuckling, you really start to think…

*imaged, edited slightly, courtesy of storypeople

priceless.

this little girl never fails to make even the most frustrating day a little lighter.

focus.

i love the focus this provides…

*image courtesy of quotable cards.
i love quotable cards. their story’s pretty great, too.

may god bless you.

may god bless you with discomfort
at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships,
so that you may live deep within your heart.

may god bless you with anger
at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

may god bless you with tears to shed
for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war,
so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them
and to turn their pain into joy.

and may god bless you with enough foolishness
to believe that you can make a difference in this world,
so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

:: franciscan benediction ::

i did it.

i still don’t quite know where the idea began or what pushed me over the edge to start a blog.  but one day the thought was there.

now, mind you, i have lots of thoughts and crazy ideas.  some flit in and out.  some linger and fade.  some i attempt and they fizzle.  some stick around.  some persist no matter how often or rationally i talk myself out of them.  this thought falls into the latter category.

i really don’t know who would want to know what’s going on in my brain, and i’m not sure anyone will even get what i see in my mind’s eye.  but, then again, i’m constantly inspired by the world around me, and that’s a pretty sweet thing to share.

i love to create in any and all forms.  i love seeing how simple things – seeds & dirt, a pile of ingredients, pictures & paper – with a touch of our hands grows and is transformed into a meal and a captured memory that we gather to share.  [please note: i know exactly how cheeze-ball that sounds.  but i'm for real!]

anyway…back to that thought that i couldn’t talk myself out of.  my “ultimatum” (with myself, of course) was that i wouldn’t catapult myself into the blogosphere unless i could come up with a good name.  and wouldn’t you know…last night…somewhere after midnight on my 30th birthday,’inspired desire’ came to me, and that was that.

i think it has a nice ring to it, and it just sorta feels right.  blogging itself is still scary and a bit overwhelming, but at the same time it feels big and new and comfy and exciting…and, yes, a bit ridiculous.  i’m hoping “good” ridiculous.  we shall see.